Mullah Mchungu’s Doodoos

Mullah Mchungu’s Doodoos

Mullah Mchungu’s Doodoos 150 150 Comfort Aid International
It is apparent that Mullah Mchungu is haunted by various frenzied doodoo’s in his head. Not the pacified ones I find here in Sanford, FL. These are the fiery ones from jungles of Africa, settled in Dar es Sallam. They sting and cloud up his intellect. The intellect that would caution people like you and me not to bother others in faraway placed every week.
So, I am on my laptop, minding my own business, building up the crescendo for my third novel titled Chocolates From My Beloved (out in July 2017 insha’Allah, benefitting the circa CAI 460 orphans worldwide), when the Mullah calls. Again.
Kisukaali, he breathes down the WhatsApp waves, I think I like your new president, that Trump guy. He is something, you know? A real man. Speaks like one, acts like one and doesn’t take no shit from nobody. The only things missing are cowboy boots, a hat, and loaded holsters. Does not mince words, does he?
I don’t know why the grump’s manners have lately evaporated. No salaam, no how are you. No habari? No kemcho. No kaise ho? And curses now? I sigh in resignation. Here go another thirty minutes. At least.
Well, I say cautiously, President Trump is not a conventional President, by any means. There are some here that love him and then there are some…
Yeah, yeah, yeah… all politically correct stuff. I know where you are coming from Kisukaali. You are protecting your toosh; I don’t blame you. You live there; I don’t, so I can yap away all I want. What’ll they do to a 77-year-old fart anyway, no?
The old geezer crackles up in laughter until he can hardly breath, alarming me. He has done this before, and it always rattles me. He takes his time calming down, hacking and getting rid of dislodged mucus in his nose and throat.
Samahaani, Kisukaali, that was very funny, I had a good laugh. But seriously, the guy played his cards splendidly. He sensed the fear of middle America and took advantage of those fears. Now, he’s flying.
It is best not to get him going; it’ll only prolong the call and my distress. So, I stay quiet. He’ll tire soon enough. Insha’Allah.
And you must give him credit, so far, for the one month or so he has been at the helm. He’s delivering on most of his campaign promises; immigration ban, Mexican wall, kicking Obamacare, jobs…
What is the guy smoking? Despite my resolve not to open my mouth, I do.
Hang on Mullah, I say hurriedly, where is the wall? The immigration ban was blocked by the courts; the two China policy is now one…
Listen, gheelsafoo; there is a huge difference between campaign talk and actual delivery. You win votes by exploiting the disfranchised mass; you promise the world. He’ll deliver most of them, you’ll see. Others, maybe not. But that is with all politicians, anywhere in the world. Starting from small town municipalities, all the way to national governments. The candidates will promise the world, but find it much challenging to deliver. Even at your jamaats and your Khoja World Federation level…you think they deliver all that is promised?
My jamaat? My Khoja World Federation?
Yes, the finesse was lacking in delivering and implementing the travel ban, but there is nothing wrong with his desire to chuck out illegal immigrants and tighten the borders and not let undesirable elements into the country. Why, I would not want anything less for my country. Would you?
Again, I remain mum, not wanting to prolong this line of discussion.
I know there are anxieties, even dread in you people there, but if you guys have not done anything wrong, why worry? The US is a functioning democracy, with checks and balances. This was apparent with the court case against the ban. All new babies have teething issues, but they get settled out eventually. And so will some of the pains and aches you are going through now. Give the guy a chance.
But Mullah, I am forced to rebuttal, does not the plight of the spurned refugees affect you? The US is a refuge for those fleeing risks to life and liberty, the very fabric that clothes the US is made up of refugees and the way this administration is treating…
Oh, don’t be naïve Kisukaali. It is a changed world we live in. This is not the 1940’s and the 50’s. No society can function in chaos. Trump is looking out for the US’s interest. Period. Rightly or erroneously, he has a promise to keep to the people that elected him.  He has not said the ban is indefinite and hopefully things will pass for the eventual betterment of his country. Even if it doesn’t, Trump will find out very soon that it’s not easy to compete in our global world without immigrants, whichever way you slice apple pie. So, a more balanced, controllable immigration policy will eventually come about.
And the Muslim countries that are hollering about the US being unfair…they are a riot. Jameean. I don’t see them rolling the welcome mat for any fleeing refugees except for the bordering countries who had no choice but take in the fleeing wrenched. Bloody hell, the Bengalis don’t even want to help their own Rohingyas fleeing unimaginable persecution in Myanmar.  Some of your Khojas, they tear up at the very name of Iran. Iran this and Iran that and Iranians are the best thing since sliced bread. Did Iran welcome any refugees from Syria? Hebu, try entering Iran as a refugee and see what happens to your crown jewels…
Despite the irritation I feel towards the man for disturbing my peace, I smile at the Mullah’s choice of words. I want to tell him to forget getting a visa to Iran after I post this Blog but my novel takes priority over this Mullah with rampaging doodoo’s in his head.


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