The Indian Press – thriving, dramatic and oh so funny!

The Indian Press – thriving, dramatic and oh so funny!

The Indian Press – thriving, dramatic and oh so funny! 150 150 Comfort Aid International

They did what…? Ex President Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam of India was frisked and made to remove his shoes for a security check before boarding a Continental Airline flight bound for New Jersey, NY. This happened in April, 2009 and it is now August. An absolute gentleman and a cool dude (although I really think the man badly needs an urgent haircut), Dr. Kalam was unflustered and cooperated with security. Matter closed, or so you would think. The episode cropped up in the local press last week with vehement horror and affront. The Indian press, prone to irrational bouts of journalistic diarrhea, went basaltic. How could they, screamed the headlines. The gall! Prosecute Continental Airlines, file an FIR, ban them from flying into India…! Eh? The man is an Ex President, not God, he was traveling as an aam admi, not in any official capacity, he did not have a problem being frisked, it was a routine security check and the airline was implementing its security rules. The Indian procedure, if you can term it that, is for an exemption on security checks for ex-presidents and other senior bureaucrats within the Indian government. These are guidelines, not an absolute law. Dr. Kalam is a highly respected and honorable man, an upright true citizen of India, there is no argument about this fact. Now, consider this just for argument’s sake; what if Dr. Kalam was an ex-president since last twenty years and was now brainwashed and a member of Indian Al Qaeeda? Far fetched for sure, but not impossible, I say. Is a very minuscule inconvenience of being frisked and shoes scanned not worth it? Come on Indian press, I know you have better and bigger issues to report on. Why don’t you go and pester Kareena or Katreena or other zero sized Bollywood actresses and ask them if they have even a pea sized brain in their beautiful thobras? That will get you better and more meaningful press, no? Sikhs guarding the queen. News that England has included two Sikhs among the Queens bodyguard security apparatus made a splash here with TV coverage of the two being paraded for us all to feel proud and happy. Perhaps it’s because I am not a natural born Indian but puckka Indian I am and I fail to see why any Indian should feel proud to be guarding that women. Really. She flaunts jewelry that were stolen from India, does absolutely nothing but go around waving her gloved fingers with a silly smirk on her face and gets tons of money from British taxpayers for it. Ugh! Airline strike? Six local airlines have decided to go on a strike August 18 because they are piling up huge losses due to uncontrolled and reckless expansion spree. They say the losses are due to fuel costs, airport fees and government taxes. As recently as three years ago, these airline CEO’s were fluttering around basking in money, ordering aircrafts left, right and center and paying government taxes. Vijay Malia, the flamboyant Chairman of Kingfisher was of the opinion the sky was not a limit and wanted to expand so fast, the Government had to restrain him as airports were not prepared to handle additional aircrafts. Naresh Goyal of Jet was smugly boasting of newer routs and added San Francisco as a destination. All ordered new aircrafts. Well, fuel prices soared last year and full blown recession set in and these airlines began whistling different tunes altogether and now threaten to blackmail the government; bail us out or we stop services. My opinion, which isn’t worth an ant’s ass, go to hell, strike (on a day I am not traveling please!). Did the airlines think of giving some of the profits to the government when they were so profitable? Will the government give an aam admi or me a bailout if I cannot make ends meet? Rakhi Sawant This actress has the airwaves by their pants; so much so that IBN News channel devoted a half hour prime time slot for the show. An eligible young attractive actress wishes to tie the knot and solicits suitors to woo to her on prime time. The entire nation has been glued to it; my family included. I was requested to reschedule our Thursday dua routine just so an episode would not escape them! The satire involves all kinds of antics that is the talk of town and apparently worthy of special news coverage. Now I hear that the actress will not get married after all, just begin a “relationship” with the successful suitor. The country in tuned on for the finale this weekend. This show has to be the best self distortion of Indian courtship ever produced, except that the entire casts actually believe it! I am off to Kargil and Afghanistan this weekend so will definitely not post anything until Ramadhan.


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